Julie’s story was told as part of Miss Spoken’s October 2015 show. The theme was Sex Ed, and she’s at the 35:03 mark. My sexual education started with my first kiss at 14. My neighbor Justin was 16, drove a Mustang with the vanity plate “JUSTANG” on the back, and kissed me while I was sitting in his lap on a sidewalk. So, like, from behind. I had braces, and he had one muscular arm and one flabby arm because of […]
Lifed: Past Tense, Present Continuous was read as part of Miss Spoken’s July 2016 show, Road Trip. You can find Shay at the three-minute mark. After being forcibly removed from my job of 19 years I need a change: a career change, obviously, though that’s been decided for me, but also a shift in perspective, in priorities—in the way I live my life in general. Is there anything meaningful I want to do? Because helping kids through art school, draining […]
The decision to get an IUD was almost spur-of-the moment. I wasn’t thinking about it when I went to see my gynecologist for my annual checkup: I was thinking about birth control pills. I’d been taking the pill on and off for about 10 years, which started making me nervous when I hit 30. I’d become inconsistent about taking them, and paranoid about getting blood clots. There’s a history of heart trouble in my family, plus I’m quick to leap […]
I hope Nicole is okay. I hope the weight of being this age at this time doesn’t crush her. I hope her life is easy (much easier than mine) and that she is ascending. Because me, her doppelgänger, was descending, and quickly. “You look really familiar,” people tell me when I’m in public. The longer I live within city limits, the more often I hear this. Whereas at first I assumed it was something white people said to black people […]
It was a typical Saturday night: I was on the couch eating peanut M&Ms and watching a show about murder. I stared at my open laptop, anxiously gnawing through a thin candy shell as I hovered over the cheery green button in front of me that oh-so-innocuously encouraged me to “Join!” I took a deep breath and clicked. I began to fill out my OkCupid profile.
The barista looks back up at me, Sharpie aloft over a half-caf venti soy latte. “Megan?” There have been times when I’ve allowed myself the small joy of just telling the barista: Yes. Yes, yes, a thousand times yes, my name is Megan! And what is yours? By your nametag I’m guessing Tyler? Tyler, isn’t that nice, isn’t that a blessing, such simple names as ours? And then we would rejoice, Tyler and I, in the ease of it all.
When I was 20, I had a friend who I would sleep with. He had an idea of how women were supposed to be sexy: shaved cunts, expensive lingerie, long, silky hair, white skin, and I had an idea that I was sexual but not sexy. He moved to Missouri, and I decided to take a cross-country road trip to his parents’ house- the one with the mounted heads of beasts, and Bibles in every room. I worked my coffeehouse […]
I’m fat. I am actually quite fat. I’m fat pretty much everywhere, from the top of my big old Charlie Brown head to the bottoms of my Fred Flintstone feet. Fat everywhere except for two places. The area between my neck and my stomach. Specifically, MY BOOBS. If I had to pick any two places on my body to be medium or even just a little undersized, it definitely would not have been in the tits. As a fat girl […]
After years of working at feminist sex toy stores, you come to see certain patterns of behavior. Heterosexual men who came to the store tended toward a sort of backwards Thunderdome mentality – one dick enters, one dick leaves! You’d see them sizing up the dildos, gripping one to see how it measured up to the “real thing.” They would gaze forlornly at the rows of vibrators, fearful that the “real thing” was in a losing battle against two double-A […]