In the summer of 2007, I was just finishing my first year of grad school, which means I was a fucking idiot—especially when it came to matters of adulthood. My roommate and I didn’t pack anything until the day we had to be out of our apartment. That morning, his parents came and helped him, took his bed in their pick-up truck and packed his clothes in boxes the way regular humans pack clothes. I shoved all of mine in […]
I’m not one of these people who considers herself as a romantic. I can appreciate romance, but that’s only if you understand the word “appreciate” to mean “roll my eyes in bitter, disgusted jealousy while bearing witness to romantic things happening to someone other than myself.” Which always seems to be the goddamned case. It’s not that I enjoy seething in a blinding rage over the rapidly congealing Lean Cuisine on my desk while the girl I share an office […]
Author’s Note: The following piece was crafted specifically for performance and I’ve done my best through text and punctuation to make it read as choppy and frenetic on the page as it was in person. At certain points, denoted by bold text, I took a seat in the front row and screamed at an empty stage. The parts in italics indicate a number of affectations not worth explaining. Hey, Basilo! Everyone’s looking at your double chin and stupid outfit. You […]
