As cool as I think Jack Kerouac is, there is no way he would have been able to make it across America on that budget, that dream, and those degenerates he called friends in 2010. It’s bullshit but, because of him, I tried it. Between desperately wanting to be part of the beatniks and believing the notion that driving across the country was cheaper than flying, which, SURPRISE, it isn’t, I, along with three of my best friends from […]
Dave Grohl and the Foo Fighters were about to make their third encore of the evening at the TD Garden in Boston. At that point, they’d been wailing away at our eardrums for a little under three hours; a relentless onslaught of punk rock-metal, roaring guitars, thunderous drums and Dave’s screeching voice. “We don’t play fucking one hour shows.” he’d said at the beginning of the show. “We don’t play fucking two hour shows. We don’t play fucking three hour […]
Hello, I’m Abel Township Runner 5. My friends just call me “5,” and, assuming that none of you are zombies, mad scientists, or the mind-controlled drones of an evil corporation, you can feel free to do the same. You may or may not have any idea what I’m talking about. For those of you who don’t, I’m referring to Zombies, Run!, a fantastic app that I highly recommend. It’s a zombie apocalypse-themed fitness app. It’s also a really clever piece […]
My freshman year really sucked. My only friend switched schools, so I faced the Catholic high school alone. Without that automatic Best Friend confidence, I prayed to just be ignored, lest I say the wrong, weird thing. I was nervous and bookish and also 6’1”. I wore black pants and a black sweater and never raised my hand. I did not care that my quiet, detached attitude just seemed stuck-up; it kept me from having to talk to people. I […]
One Fourth of July a few years back, my dad invited me over to his friend Jean Anderson’s house for her party. I guess I could’ve said no, but I probably would have felt bad, so I went. I knew it would most likely be lame. Actually, I knew it would be lame. There was zero chance it wouldn’t suck.
I’ve worked in advertising for almost 10 years. Up until last year, running out of water was the wildest thing that ever happened to me in a meeting. Even though I got my start at McCann Erickson, I avoided the racy advertising culture you see on episodes of Mad Men. I mean, I’m still willing to bet we drink more than any other working professionals, but the real wild stuff, like working overnight and having sex in the office is… […]
Before I thought I was a man, I thought women’s hormones made us crazy. I didn’t know that was what I thought. There are some beliefs in life that exist so deep in the brain’s dark soil that you can’t see how many of your decisions are rooted to them. When I was a little girl I knew that my mom was the crazy parent, because she was often upset- at my dad not coming home from work till long […]
Around September of 2014 I stopped lying to myself. I stopped the charade of not wanting a relationship and “loving the single life.” I stopped convincing myself that my one-sided friendships were fulfilling enough for me, and I was happy without a significant other. I also stopped believing that it was socially acceptable to go on dates with people I met on Tinder. If you take anything from this, please, I beg you, don’t go on any more Tinder dates. […]
